He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
