girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
