Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
