I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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