i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
