i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
