Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
