I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
