That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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