I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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