i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
