I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
