The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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