We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
