you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
