Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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