Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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