make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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