We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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