White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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