i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
