He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
