I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
