Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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