so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
