Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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