i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
