i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
