Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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