is your mom at the bar?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
