Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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