Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
