the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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