i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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