I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
