I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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