quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
