It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
