I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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