So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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