just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
