sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
