that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
