Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
