So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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