he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
