I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
