ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
