She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
MIDGETS
????
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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