Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
