saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
